I just spent a couple thousand dollars to go on a diet.
If it sounds drastic, that’s because it is. The thing is, in the last couple of years my lifestyle has changed drastically, and I’ve aged, and I’ve had many points in time where I just didn’t care about my health or my weight. I go in spurts, trying to lose, losing, then not caring and gaining. The last two years, the not caring about my eating habit and weight gain has been most prominent when I’m really into a story. I live in my head, and because I live alone, I don’t really come out of it until the story is done.
I’ve always had a bit of an obsessive personality, and it normally works in my favor. When I was into Martial Arts I broke records getting my black belt in Karate, I did well in competitions, (good enough to compete internationally and train for the World Cup, although I admit, I got extremely pissed off one day – it was a long time coming – two months before I was supposed to go to Japan, and quite it all…so I never did compete in the World Cup) . I coached, worked as an instructor, and a personal trainer. I was FIT!!
After the martial arts time, I got into private security work. Again being obsessive worked in my favor. I was the only female on a team of security specialists that …well, they could all be the hero in a number of movies or books. However, being obsessive in that particular line of work, drastically changed my personality, and after a couple of years I didn’t really like the life I was living. So I left it behind.
Then came my Travel for pleasure phase. I traveled… A LOT. I worked my butt off behind the bar to bank money, and took off to foreign countries for months at a time. This is when I started to gain weight to an unhealthy level.
It never really bothered me when it happened in spurts, because I could always drop 20-30 pounds when I wanted too. All I had to do was focus. But about three years ago when I decided to focus on writing, my obsessive personality came out again. Only this time, it wasn’t in something that kept me active, and it shows.
Especially closer to a deadline is bad, everything goes out the window but the book. However, I stepped on the scale this morning and freaked. I love my stories, but I need to love myself too. So, I joined LA Weight loss. It’s time for me to be realistic about how drastically my lifestyle has changed in the last few years. I no longer visit the gym on what would be considered a regular basis (not for more than three weeks in a row anyway) and I’m not even running around the bar for 8 hours five nights a week. Instead, I sit at a computer. I’m blessed enough to be able to write full-time, but I have to find a way to not live ONLY in my head full time.
This isn’t ONLY about weight loss though. It’s because my mental focus isn’t as great as it used to be. I used to sit and write 1500 words in an hour or two, now I strive to do that in a day. I feel old, fat, and lazy…and I don’t like it.
I rarely go out anymore, except to movies, partly because I have a better time with my characters than I do with some of the people I meet when out…and partly because I feel embarrassed at my size. Not just because I’m overweight, but because I LET it happen. There was no reason for it other than my own laziness. I saw it, I knew it was happening, but I didn’t care enough about myself to stop it from happening.
Now, don’t go thinking I’m hugely obese. I’m not. I am about 80 pounds overweight though. And, it’s all on my ass and hips. It’s that half Italian thing, I figure my bottom half is the Italian half, it loves pasta and hangs on to it. However, I still wear a two-piece bathing suit, and jeans, and get hit on a lot. I’m big, but apparently I ‘’carry it well’. Plus, I’m a naturally confident person, and I think that really makes a difference in how people see you.
I’ve said it before; I need to find a balance. Now I’m doing something about it. Since I really am quite a loner, (being a loner is different than being shy, I think we all know I’m rarely shy), and I hate to share this part of myself with my family and friends who either turn into nags, or are scared to call me on cheating, or who back out of plans to work out together …I’m spending that much money to have someone kick my ass and keep me on track.
The great thing about it is that I explained the whole deadline brain thing (which I happen to have right now until May 1 st) and they can work with it!! I love that they’re not telling me I HAVE to work out every day. I’ve always used exercise more than diet, since I enjoy working out. But, this will work with both. I don’t HAVE to work out, and when I do, it’ll just be bonus!!
Anyway, I won’t ALWAYS be talking about this now…but since it was quite a big thing for me today. I had to share.
Hey, Sasha, I’m glad to hear you’re going to focus on your health. I think it’s so important for us writerly types. And I know I’m in a better mental space when I’m exercising regularly.
Good for you, Sasha! :great:
You’re gorgeous, babe, but I’m really proud of you for doing what’s best for YOU right now! You’ll be outshining us all in Atlanta!
Good for you Sasha! I’m trying to lose a little less than that, but not much. We can encourage each other. 🙂
Good for you on joining LA weight loss! I joined Weight Watchers, and am not doing so good. My own fault of course. We’re in a bit of the same boat. I was in Tae Kwon Do, but after having a baby never lost the weight, and was so out of shape I had to stop. Well, and because of money too. But I agree, I get in my writing and focus, tunnel vision. Who cares about eating good?
But I’m vowing to do better. You’re inspiring me… and so is Nationals! I’m going, I just decided it’s worth the money I don’t have 😆 But I want to look good when I get there. Or at least 10-20 lbs lighter!
You can do it, Sasha!! :attack: Thanks again for all your advice on GFA :great: You’re fabulous!
Hey Jorrie! It’s very true, I find that when i was more active with other things, be it the gym or work or biking, my mental focus was so much better. SO …this should not only help me…but help my writing.
Thanks, Charli! I’m sort of cringing at the money, but… it’s for a years worth of counseling and nutritional support. The thing is, I know alot abotu nutirtion, but it’s all rfrom when I was an athlete, or at the least, very active, andnow…well I can;t eat like that anymore. (I’m Supposed to visit them 2- 3 times a week, they said when I’m on deadline I can visit once a week, and email th other days )
Sela~ I’ve gained 20 pounds since Reno!! 😳 But I’ve been a writing maniac…I’ll just be happy if when I make it ot Atlanta, I’m the same as I was last year. LOl The goal is 80-100 lbs weight loss in a year. I really don’t thinkI’ll need to lose 100, those stupid Dr. charts are not realistic…and I liek having soft curves, a woman shoudl have soft curves…soI’ll be happy with 75-80 pounds gone!
Jordan ~ Sounds good to me !! I know you’ve been doing pretty good lately too. So we’ll keep each other going!
Hey Shelli! You’re very welcome for any help I can give! And Yay on the inspiration! Glad I could help..
Thanks everyone for the support… it’s wonderful to see!
Good luck, Sasha! You can do it!!! :great:
I have let my weight bloom drastically and it’s all part of the stress that I’m under as a caregiver. I don’t really see that changing soon, so I’m not going to worry and stress myself out more. I’ll deal with it after mother is gone or I get some kind of relief (which I don’t see that happening).
Oh, I meant to say great going – I’m glad you’re making the changes that you feel you need to do. And you’re right, those charts can be a bit unrealistic.
Best of luck, Sasha!
You can do it! 😉
I believe in you, sweetie. And I think you’re a brave, amazing woman.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Good for you, babe! And I feel you, oh, how I feel you! I joined Curves last month for many of the same reasons you joined LA Weight Loss. Plus when I meet my love, I have to be comfortable with myself if want him to be.
I rarely go out anymore, except to movies, partly because I have a better time with my characters than I do with some of the people I meet when out…and partly because I feel embarrassed at my size. Not just because I’m overweight, but because I LET it happen. There was no reason for it other than my own laziness. I saw it, I knew it was happening, but I didn’t care enough about myself to stop it from happening. ——————————————-
THAT i soooo understand
thats so GREAT :great:
congrats on that , you are such a strong lady
Thanks for the inspirational post. Good for you! I need to get on the weight-loss train.
Sasha,
You just gave me the incentive I needed to do something about my own health and weight issues. No more excuses. Because of the health issues, heavy exercise is not an option but I can sure do something about the diet.
Thank you and good luck
Alex
its funny when you think how you and i eat and write together a lot. We’ll just have to stay on each other, huh? I’ll say, did you eat on time and get some excercise and you can say, did you eat yet? quit pacing!
*hugs* I love you, girll. every bit of you.
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