Pondering Passion.

Pondering Passion.

I’m not sure if it’s because I started out writing short stories, and built up to writing novels or what, but I tend to almost always be short on my final word counts. I try very hard to hit them, I think big long books are what readers like, especially when they’re paying $14 for them, but honestly, it’s a struggle to bump it up. I think mostly because as a reader, I absolutely hate filler like overly descriptive passages and sex scenes thrown in just for the sake of plumping up the pages. I want to read a good tight story, that always has me wanting more, never wanting it to end. I do not want to be skimming pages to get to ‘the good stuff’. The whole book should be ‘the good stuff’. I take my writing just as seriously as my reading, and I want my stories to be engaging all the way through. I don’t ever want to hear that a reader skimmed through pages of it because it was too wordy. I know I hate it when I start skimming books, that brings a story down in my eyes.

So this means really digging into the stories and trying to find ways to add that actually effect the story line, make it stronger, better. It’s times like this I wish I got revisions from my editors. In all honesty, I’ve never had revisions on any of my stories. Ever. I used to think this was a compliment to my writing – my previous agent told me it was because I could write a good tight story on my own…this was a good thing. I believed her.

In the past 4 years I’ve written 10 full novels and 4 novellas, (and each of them are short on the actual contracted word counts if you go by computer wordcount) and as time went on, I found myself wanting revisions. I wanted my editors to read my stories, find flaws, big or small, and point them out to me. I wanted to have them rip apart my stories, then hand them back to me so I could put them back together- better than ever. But it never happened.

Once, one of my editors did give me a few notes…I was thrilled, I thought they were revisions, but really, it was just very small minor changes. But the point was… I was thrilled to have them.

I have friends who get revisions and edits like that, and they’re always saying how it helps them grow and learn and become a better writer. I also know many authors who tell me I’m a complete idiot to want the pain and stress that comes with that sort of thing. That I should be loving the complete freedom I have…and part of me really does. But there is also that part of me that really wants to be able to talk to my editors about my stories, my characters, I’d like to have someone to help me become a better author. I want to write bigger and better stories, and I’m worried that I can not do that on my own.

This is the main reason why I have slowed down on my writing to the point that I’m just not sure when, or even if, I’ll write another Sasha White novel. People will always say this is a tough business, and you won’t survive it if you don’t have a deep abiding passion for it. Well, I do have a passion for it. But my burning passion is like any fire…it’s going to falter and turn to sparks and then embers, and maybe even to ashes, if nobody feeds it another log. It can only remain self-sustaining for so long.

While my fire is not yet out, it is at the sparks only stage. Part of me thinks time away from writing will breathe new life into my fire, part of me wonders if a new passion will come by. I’m just not sure. All I do know is that I do not want to keep pushing out the same level of book over and over again until my readers revolt and stop buying because there is nothing new happening. Is this anyones fault but my own? Not at all. It’s up to me, the author, to come up with something new that will energize my muse and my passion… but am I wrong to want an agent, editor, or publisher who shows some enthusiasm for my work? Am I being too demanding? Am I wrong to want someone to help me keep the fires of my passion burning?

This is by no means meant to be a whiny or complaint ridden post. Many authors talk about this stuff in private, but honestly, I’m tired of back room discussions…those feel more whiny and childish to me that bringing the subject out into the open. I’m not looking for a bunch of people to stroke my ego or make me feel better, or to come and tell me I should be grateful for what I already have. I am grateful I have three wonderful publishers, and editors who let me push the envelope and write the stories I want to write. I’ve been blessed many times over by the cover Gods, and readers and reviewers alike to seem to really enjoy my work. I want to keep working, keep writing, keep building my career by writing bigger better books that draw more and more readers…I’m just not sure how to do that without a little help.

Maybe it’s just the place I’m in mentally right now, and after a bit of time off, I’ll be raring to go. But i wanted to share some of my thoughts because PBW did a post on 25 Reasons to Keep Writing the other day that had me thinking. I do want to keep writing, but I also want to grow as an author.

17 Comments

  1. Sasha, you’re not wrong in wanting those things. Those are good, honest things to want.

    I feel like I’m a good place with my writing right now. I have an agent, that does push me and she edits me, and I find that with her gentle proddings that it forces to me to dig deeper than I’ve even done before.

    I also have an editor that pushes me. Sometimes I admit I tend to push back, but again, that also makes me grow as an author, because I realize there are some battles not worth fighting over, and that the editor does have my best interests in heart and the best interests for my book.

    I love that, even when I bitch and complain about my 2 page edit letter. LOL

    My personal advice to you darling, is to find a really good agent that will push you like that. There are A LOT of good agents out there. You just need to search for that special one FOR YOU. That fits you.

    And yup, that might take time and patience. But it’s worth it.

  2. As I told you I totally believe you are right. Every writer needs that editor/agent who gives them nasty, hairy edits, and pushes her to be better with every book.

    I’ve been lucky with Sasha at Samhain – she has really helped me become a better, mature writer. I firmly believe without her, I wouldn’t have gotten Kate Duffy’s attention.

    *hugs* on feeling frustrated and not getting what you need. I hope that as a CP, I can make a difference for you, but I know it’s not the same.

    I hope you continue writing, even if it’s not as Sasha White. Follow your heart, babe, and know you do have people who love and support you, no matter what.

  3. I can’t really say anything that hasn’t already been said. You have to do what’s right for you and if you need a break, take a break. If you want to change directions, change directions. I know you will succeed at whatever you choose because you’re awesome! And determined.

    Hugs to you hon. Too bad we don’t live closer to each other – I’d take you out to TGI Friday’s and we could chat. 😉

  4. I was very fortunate to end up with Suz at EC when I first sold; she always made me work, but it was work I was happy to do because I could see she was right and that her input made the story better. That didn’t make it easy; I will never forget the month of agony I spent rewriting Love and Rockets during the holidays, taking care of an eighteen-month-old while battling morning sickness. But what kept me going was knowing she was right, that she got my story and my characters and she was helping me do what I wanted to do better. An editor like that is a priceless gift to a writer. An editor who doesn’t try to change your voice or your story, but who shows you how to maximize it. You deserve that, Sasha, and I’m confident you can find it.

    And kudos to you for not wanting to stay at the same level. I don’t want to do that, either. Growth is a natural process, and we do grow as artists. Sometimes growth leads us to different places and material than we ever expected or imagined.

  5. One thing you might try: I bought Donald Maass’ book and workbook Writing the Breakout Novel a year ago. It’s very, very helpful and I’m continuing to work through it. I think he’s right in that there are multiple levels of break-out and you have to keep raising the bar.

  6. Sonya J

    While I am not a writer, I know that feedback is important in any profession. I think you are a very talented writer. I agree with the others, if you are not getting the feedback you need to grow as a writer, then find some one that can help you. And, while taking a break may work for some, for others it only reinforces the need for a change. I imagine only you know what works for you. I seriously hate to think that we won’t have more Sasha White stories.

  7. Hey Vivi,

    I’m so happy that things are moving in the right direction for you. :mrgreen:

    I agree, the right agent is important. However, I don’t believe it’s an agents job to revise or edit my books. I do think it’s part of their job to help me develop ideas – to a certain extent. Either way, I have slowly been making my changes. I left my firt agent months ago, and have had an offer of representation since then that I turned down because the agent didn’t have enough of a hands on for me. I’ve had other agents, who I’ve heard are hands on reject me. So who knows what the future holds.

    Oh, I know… it holds changes, I’m just not sure what they are yet. 😉

  8. Beth, you are a wonderful friend and cp. We, as cp’s, are here to help when we can, be it as cheerleader or brainstorming partner. You help me with grammar and fleshing out when I ask, but you’re right, it is different. *hugs* Thanks for the love and support…always!

  9. Hey Charli,

    Thanks fro sharing. Thats exactly the type of thing I’m talking about. And yes, I’m familiar with Donald Maass’s book. I’ve had the workbook for years, and in fact, his Advanced workshop on Character development was the first workshop on writing I ever took. It was at the 2005 Surrey International Conference, before I ever wrote a novella let alone a novel. 😀

    I do think revisiting it is a great idea though. Thank you.

  10. Hi Sonya,

    Thanks for speaking up. As a reader I’d like to think you have a vested interest in what I do. 🙂
    And rest assured, there are still more Sasha White novels written that haven’t been released yet. I’m determined to have this settled in my mind and heart before the time comes that I have nothing left to release. 😀

    You can see a bit of what’s to come on the COMING SOON page of the BOOKSHELF

  11. Amie, I don’t think it’s 100% externally propelled. That’s why I said this.

    “Is this anyones fault but my own? Not at all. It’s up to me, the author, to come up with something new that will energize my muse and my passion…”

    I’m not looking for someone to do my work for me. But I do think that without help and encouragement, a person can only take themself so far before they to stop caring about growth.

  12. Laurie Kap

    ((Hugs)) Sasha!
    As an unpubbed writer the aggravation can be tremendous, it’s hard to imagine feeling that way after so many wonderful books. But I was having almost this same conversation with my CP the other day after I received a form letter rejection after everyone else in the house sang my praises.

    It amazes me in this business the lack of feedback – whether it’s for unpubbed or pubbed authors. I have done really well in my “business” life because I know what I need to improve on or keep doing – same with everyone I work with. But my writing life is totally different — there is nothing to go on, and I can’t grow or be better without it.
    We all know we need something more to get to the next level, I know you’ll find it. I hope you do because you have been an inspiration to me and my writing.

    Breathe in, breathe out…and take one day at a time.

    Laurie K

  13. Debbie E

    OMG!! Sasha – if I could wave a magic wand. From a reader’s perspective – would another genre excite you?

    I don’t know – the books you have written are so great – I thought that would be the only reason there are no edits or whatever.

    You don’t lag in your stories – I mean from the first page you are right in the thick of action. In my opinion you are in the league with Jaci Burton and Lora Leigh – I have never read a bad story yet from either of them and have finally figured out that if I pre-order your books from Chapters – I will get them faster than normal.

    I wish I could help you because I know you deserve all your success and more…..

    Hugs to you!!

    PS – funny but I bought this books (I can’t think of the name right now) but it is for authors not readers. I’ll send you an email about it. Haha!!!

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