Have any of you heard of the Authors After Dark conference? It’s in New Orleans this year, and guess what? I’m going.

Yes, I am, and I can not wait. I’m super excited because hey, it’s New Orleans and I’ve always wanted to go there. Not only that, its the first conference that’s not RT or RWA that I’m going to attend. (Okay I’ve attended several NINC conferences, but those are the business of writing, and have no readers or book signings or anything like that,s other don’t count in this instance.)

I’m excited to chat/party with readers, but also because several of my author friends who I haven’t seen in years will be there. Larissa Ione, Shayla Black, Mark Henry, Beth Williamson, Delilah Devlin just to name a few. Plus Yasemine Galenorn, who I’ve never met in person but who I’ve been friends with online for years. And the fabulous Joey Hill is the Mistress of Ceremonies. How can this possibly not be the best conference of the year?

YAY. I’m so excited. And motivated, because let’s face it, I need to get my ass in gear and get more shit written. Which I’m going to go do, right now. After my laundry is done. :)

I saw this quote and thought, “That sums things up perfectly.” You see, I’ve been working with a close friend who started writing just over a year ago, and yesterday she told me she was done. Maybe she’d try again later, but she she’d given herself a year to write a book, and that year was over and she hasn’t met her goal so she was done.

To my way of thinking she had met her goal. She has written a book. A 60k novel. In fact, she’s also re-written a couple of times, and written several short stories as well. While none of them were quite publishable, I saw promise in what she’d shown me. And, she’d told me she really enjoyed writing.

Last night I went see the latest Underworld with one of my neighbours. We’re both movie nuts so this is something we do often, and we always end up talking about other things as well. She’s a writer of sorts for her day job (writing website content and promotional materials and stuff like that) and she asked about how I got into writing erotica. Was it something I’d always wanted to do, was it always erotica that I wanted to write or did I have a yen for other genres…that sort of thing. As I told her the story of how I got into it, I was thinking about how easy it felt when I first started writing. I just sat down, determined I was going to achieve this career, and I wrote.

I never thought about how hard it was or how easy it was. I never thought about did I have enough description or were my characters developed enough. These things didn’t really enter into my mind, most likely because I never really took classes or anything that focussed these things.

Now when I sit down to write all these fill up my head to the point that a blank screen can freeze me up for a day, or more, if I’m not careful. I worry about if it will sell, if it’s been done before, is it what readers expect from Sasha White? Things like that….and writing has become hard.

While I’ve never been a flowery “Oh I just love writing and would do it even if I was never published” type of person, I now think back to when I looked forward to sitting down to write.

For some people education and knowledge helps build their confidence, and for others, it can crumple it. Education and knowledge has made writing more difficult for me…and it seems maybe for my friend as well. But in my mind, I think the thing that makes it most difficult for her is that at her core, she doesn’t believe in herself…and I really wish I could show her that she’s so much better and has so much more promise than she could image, but I have no idea how to do that.

This, more than anything has made it clear to me that you have to be strong to be a writer. Talent is good, but talent alone isn’t enough to make it. Perseverance and hard work are things you can’t back away from if you want this career.

As much as I love being an author, I rarely look forward to sitting at the computer and writing. Which is why it’s so very important to remind myself of this quote every now and then…

‎”I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy. I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” ~Art Williams

First, let me explain what Fast Drafting is. Basically, it’s focusing on getting 20 pages written a day by not allowing yourself to look back, edit, tweak or flesh out your words. It’s designed so you can puke out the first draft of a novel in one feel swoop. Normally I love this. It’s right up my alley to get things done in a binge fashion, but this time I find that all my characters and ideas are jamming together in my head and on the page.

It’s a first for me, and I think it’s due to the fact that I’ve been thinking about these various stories in a vague way for a couple of years. All of them are erotic, and most are connected. The thing is, I’ve had story ideas simmering, and character profiles growing until I have a good handle on them, but I haven’t actually suited the characters to each other in any firm way, and many of them could be great fits.

It’s sort of like a big nightclub in my mind, and the characters are all circling each other, the air rife with chemistry and sexual attraction, but nobodies actually hooked up yet. *sigh* Someone has to take charge and tell them who they belong with, and I know that someone is me, but it’s not normally the ay I write my stories. Normally I just sort of start writing and the characters take over.

Once they’re all sorted out, I think I’ll have three solid hot, diverse and emotionally touching novels, and at least 2 more solid and deliciously naughty short stories…but right now I struggling.

I am determined though, that by the ned of this weekend I’ll have them corralled and paired up properly…so they can go about all sorts of improper fun.

Lately I’ve seen a lot of writer friends talk about how their struggling with their productivity and time management. It’s something I’ve been struggling with myself, so it’s hit home. I think back to how productive I used to be, and I miss it. The strange thing is I was super productive with writing, not so good at everything else, or I was going gang-busters on everything else, and not writing. It’s all about balance, something I’ve been trying to sort out for years.

For years….it’s scary to realize that I’ve been dealing with this issue for years. Especially when I know in my heart that all I really need to do is focus. And the key isn;t focus on everything, but to focus on one thing at a time.

I’ve been thinking about this, and come to realize that before I started writing I never used to think ahead. I was very much ‘live in the moment‘ and it worked for me. Only when it comes to a writing career, I learned pretty quick that it didn’t work so well. I mean, I stayed that way when I first started, and wrote and sold, and wrote and sold, not really thinking about the future, just thinking that if I kept working hard the career I wanted would happen. But things don’t just happen in the writing industry, not for the majority of us, so I started thinking ahead, planning and strategizing….and *I* got lost.

I say I got lost because planning and strategizing isn’t natural to me. Not in a consistent/constant way. I can plan a party with the best of them, but career planning…so not my thing. So, it’s time to go with my strengths and do what comes natural. I’m not planning anymore. At least not in a big way. I’m focussing on maybe planning a week ahead, but thats about it. And I’m focusing on one thing at a time. Focus on what I’m doing when I’m doing it.

I can sit down and play on line for a time, then it’s play time. I sit down and write, and it’s writing time. No more playing during writing time. No more stressing about diet when I should be writing. No more ..okay, so I can think about writing when exercising…but you get what I’m saying right?

Today, I have a couple of previously pubbed stories that need to be re-edited and tweaked, I’ve been telling myself I’d do this for about year now, I have the cover even, but I’ve let myself be distracted form it by doing other things…no more. This gets done today…and when it’s done, I get to watch a movie I rented from iTunes. City Of Ember. Anyone seen it before?

I’m now on a MONTHLY track:
Goals for July:
Lose 10 pounds
Write short story
Full proposal.

I’m on track, so far. Had a good breakfast (Love those smoothies) & 30 min walk to start the day off. YAY!
Now I’m sitting down with a healthy snack. (apple and slice of cheddar cheese) to write.

I think my biggest challenges in the health department are going to be only allowing myself one sweetened drink a day. (It can be a glass of pop or a coffee with vanilla creamer) and finding healthy snacks.

I do okay with meals, but snacks are harder for me. I get bored of apples and fruit and veggies. So if anyone out there has suggestions for healthy snacks, lay’em on me!

Current list of enjoyed snacks goes like this…..
Apples are probably my favorite. They’re good with cheese and peanut butter, and even by themself. I love Graham Crackers and Peanut butter, but I need to limit them as they’re not that great -depending on what else I eat during the day. Peanut butter and celery has been mentioned but I’ve never been able to get into that. Bananas and vanilla yogurt (or chocolate pudding) are good too. Also, microwave popcorn LOVE IT. Good with butter and salt, or hot sauce.for health reasons I try to use hot sauce and keep the butter and salt as a treat for movies and such.

I also really love pistachios and chocolate covered pretzels, but I’m not allowing myself to have them because once I start on those I have a hard time stopping.

So…any suggestions? What’s your favorite snack, healthy or unhealthy/

So, I didn’t get everything done last week that I set out do do with my list, but I got enough of it going that I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I think not beating yourself up is a huge key to success. Yes, we all need to be self-aware and critical in order to do the best we can and to keep on improving (at whatever it is you’re working on ) but there’s a fine line between critiquing yourself for improvement, and beating up on yourself.

This is a big thing for me, both in writing and in health endeavors. I admit my main priority right now is health, even though I’m beyond behind in my writing commitments. The problem is that my health starts it’s downward path when I began writing. Then when I quit work to write full time, it gained speed on that downward run. Since I decided to let my health take precedence I’ve tried so many things, but nothing has really worked. This is because I know its base is in emotions. Easy to know, not so easy to deal with. However, I’m 41 years old, and I weigh 300 pounds. I shake my head and wonder how I got here, and at the same time I know exactly how I got here. Just like I know exactly how to fix it.

Knowing is NOT as easy as doing.

I’ve debated a lot about if I should share this struggle on my blog or not. It is very personal, but at the same time, it’s main focus so if I don’t talk about it, then my blog will start to lag again, and keeping up with it is one of my goals. So, I’m sharing….some. And I hope you’ll share with me as well.

I tried joining Weight Watchers, online. Not so much for food and recipes and such, but for community. I know what I need to do. We all do . There is no magic pill that ‘s going to make up fit and healthy. It takes work. Eat better, be more active, and your body will react positively. But it’s not easy, and if you can share, if you can give and receive support and feel less alone, then it becomes easier.

I found the message boards very superficial. Lots of people posting goals and results, and cheering each there on, but no one really talking. So, I’m hoping to start something here. If you’re interested in becoming part of acommunity of readers/wrters who are facing health issues of any sort, just say Hi in the comments. If there’s some interest I’ll start a room/thread on my poor unused messageboard for us.

Otherwise I’ll just continue to blab on her by myself every now and then. :)

I managed to o everything on Last weeks TO DO list except the writing goals. SO this week I’m goignot work on making the other stuff HABIT, and get that writing done.

SO..
***eat breakfast every day (I’ve been having smoothies made from scratch…very good)
***exercise 3 times this week
***Finish short story.
and hopefully, start new proposal.

What about you? Goals for the week? Interested in joining the messageboards and sharing health goals, ups & downs, recipes?

UPDATE:
I created a room on my messageboard called THE BEST YOU, and I hope to see you there. Please feel free to start your own thread/topic, with your Name or Journey. Post your goals/hopes, treat it like an open journal where we can alldrop in and visit you, encourage or sympathize.
I’ll be starting my own later today.