LUST;
1) An intense or unrestrained sexual craving.
2) An overwhelming desire or craving: a lust for power.
Intense eagerness or enthusiasm: a lust for life.
Obsolete. Pleasure; relish.
I love lust.
I love that feeling I get when I meet someone new, and the chemistry is crackling and lust simmers in my viens. The thrill of learning more. Learning what turns him on, what turns me on. Just how good we can be together. But, there’s more to lust than sexual cravings.
I also love the thrill of living. I have a healthy lust for new and adventurous things. At least I always have. Recently I’ve had a few people tell me they love my lust for life, and it’s sort of made me sit back and go, “Wow, they’re seeing something I don’t really feel anymore.” Because I don’t really feel that lust anymore. And I can’t pin point when I stopped feeling it.
But I do know I’m going looking for it again.
Life is short, and it’s meant to be lived.
One of the things I’m doing today is creating a new list of things I want to experience before I die. I did this about 15 years before - and told you all about it HERE - and my list has 30 things on it. Out of those 30 things, I’ve accomplished more than half, and realized that I really have no interest in a quarter of them.
So they’re scratched. Now …to write the new list.
You’d think it would be easy. I thought it would be easy. Unfortunately, it seems my drive, and my lust for living seems to have dissapated. I want to feel that way again, but sometimes wanting it isn’t enough.
I’m having a hard time sticking to my health plan, a hard time makeing myself write. The only thing I really want to do is sleep and watch TV. What’s with me?
Okay, I want to read too. But..that’s about it.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I know this feeling. It comes when I need to get away from life. Normally I’d quit my job, pack my backpack and empty my bank account. Unfortunatlye with making writing my main focus for the last year and a half, my banl account IS empty, and I can’t quit my job. I could take my laptop with me and do my job (writing) while I travel … but first, I need to fattent he bank account. So, it’s back to the bar for me. I’ve arrangd to work some lunch shifts in the restaurant and it feels good. Maybe I just need to get out of the house more???
I pretty sure it’s a phase. I hope it’s a phase…but how do I drag myself out of it without actually leaving the country? How do you give yourself a kick in the ass when you know you need it? Any suggestions??