Comments on: Bon Apetit http://www.sashawhite.net/blog/2005/06/24/bon-apetit/ Romance with Heat, Erotica with Heart Mon, 13 Oct 2008 02:16:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Jaq http://www.sashawhite.net/blog/2005/06/24/bon-apetit/#comment-2402 Jaq Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.sashawhite.net/blog/?p=417#comment-2402 Good start, Sasha; sent you an email. Good start, Sasha; sent you an email.

]]> By: Steph T. http://www.sashawhite.net/blog/2005/06/24/bon-apetit/#comment-2403 Steph T. Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.sashawhite.net/blog/?p=417#comment-2403 What a great concept - the whole catering a bachelor party thing...it definitely hooked me.:)<br /> <br /> The *only* (minor)thing that pulled me out was when you talked about our hero being cocky/arrogant (which, of course, I like) but it just didn't jibe with the whole puppy dog eyes/face in the opening, since you have him as all sexy bad boy the rest of the way through...does that make sense? :) I think making him arrogant-ish right away will keep with the character you've set him up to be. :D What a great concept - the whole catering a bachelor party thing…it definitely hooked me.:)

The *only* (minor)thing that pulled me out was when you talked about our hero being cocky/arrogant (which, of course, I like) but it just didn’t jibe with the whole puppy dog eyes/face in the opening, since you have him as all sexy bad boy the rest of the way through…does that make sense? :) I think making him arrogant-ish right away will keep with the character you’ve set him up to be. :D

]]> By: Rick http://www.sashawhite.net/blog/2005/06/24/bon-apetit/#comment-2404 Rick Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.sashawhite.net/blog/?p=417#comment-2404 I am thinking about writng some projects myself to see if I can be creative and have impact upon others. I have substantial writing experience in Corporate America and I edit in ways that could be crushing for the writer. Your intro seems a bit verbose hence I would be making your teeth clench a bit. I also know about a bar tender's life and the world you must work with. You are 35 and good looking but your picture shows your barriers. Break them down while you are writing. Please accept my most sincere wish for your success as a writer. Best, Rick F. P. S. I noticed you metioned your age. I am 59. No drinking or smoking but thankful for my circumstances. Maybe I can write some and annoy you in the peocess (editing). Good Luck I am thinking about writng some projects myself to see if I can be creative and have impact upon others. I have substantial writing experience in Corporate America and I edit in ways that could be crushing for the writer. Your intro seems a bit verbose hence I would be making your teeth clench a bit. I also know about a bar tender’s life and the world you must work with. You are 35 and good looking but your picture shows your barriers. Break them down while you are writing. Please accept my most sincere wish for your success as a writer. Best, Rick F. P. S. I noticed you metioned your age. I am 59. No drinking or smoking but thankful for my circumstances. Maybe I can write some and annoy you in the peocess (editing). Good Luck

]]> By: jaq http://www.sashawhite.net/blog/2005/06/24/bon-apetit/#comment-2405 jaq Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000 http://www.sashawhite.net/blog/?p=417#comment-2405 :O :O

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